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- đĽ¤SWB : Mar. 23, Issue 19
đĽ¤SWB : Mar. 23, Issue 19

Good Moo-rning Legends đŽđ,
This week, M&A deals are flying off the shelf, but investment banks are still not making any bankđ¸â? At least I think so as IB junior analysts are vanishing mid-slide deck.
Meanwhile, somewhere deep inside a pitch deck, someone just used the word âtransformationalâ for the fifth time this week đâ¨. A VP nodded. No one blinked.
Itâs 2025 folks, reality is optional, and weâre here to bring you the newsâhopefully, even clearer than the oddly high-resolution photo of Elon in our last summary(mythical Flickr find). Anyways, hydrate, stay diversified, and letâs get into it.
Markets (USD) - Weekly
NASDAQ | 17,784.05 | +0.35% |
S&P 500 | 5,667.56 | +0.57% |
D-JIA | 41,985.35 | +1.27% |
2-Year Yield | 3.967% | -6.30bps |
10-Year Yield | 4.258% | -5.90bps |
Bitcoin | $84,065.84 | +0.01% |
BYD | HK$ 391.60 | -2.10% (+51.67% YTD) |
March 18
Tech Worldâs WOJ bomb

Image source: Wiz.io
Alphabet (Googleâs cooler, more buttoned-up alter ego) is making headlines for dropping $32 billion in cold, regulatory-risk-laden cash on Wiz, a cloud security startup barely five years old. Not only is it Googleâs biggest acquisition ever, but itâs also 2025âs largest M&A deal so far.
This isnât their first tangoâGoogle tried to buy Wiz for $23 billion last year, but the startup bet on an IPO. One year, one bigger bag later, Wiz said yes.
đ§ââď¸Who the Heck is Wiz?
Founded in 2020 by Assaf Rappaport and his fellow ex-Microsoft crew (who have already sold a previous startup to Microsoft for $320 million), it offers cloud-native security tools that work across all major cloud platforms, flagging and prioritizing risks across the companyâs entire cloud environment. Their USP is that they are simple, fast, and actually useful for multi-cloud setups1âwhich is every large enterprise nowadays.
đ°Why the massive spend?
Because Google Cloud is still stuck in third place, trailing AWS and Microsoft Azure in the battle for cloud dominance. Googleâs hoping that snapping up Wiz will finally help shake up the hierarchy.
Wizâs CEO put it bluntly: âBecoming a part of Google Cloud is effectively strapping a rocket to our backs: It will accelerate out rate of innovation faster than what we could achieve as a standalone company.â
Although Wiz insists itâll continue supporting other cloud platforms post-acquisition we can read between the lines here: Google Cloud just got first dibs on whatever Wiz is cooking up next.
đWallstreet isnât sold
Alphabetâs stock dipped 4% after the announcement as the math isnât mathing for this deal: Google is paying 30x Wizâs projected $1B revenue for 20252, well above the usual 10x software firms go for, according to Barronâs.
Then thereâs the regulatory minefield. Alphabetâs already battling antitrust suits, and the DOJ just revived calls for breaking off Chromeâand maybe Android. A $3.2B breakup fee is in place if the deal doesnât clear. So yeah, itâs bold. But itâs also risky.
March 17
đď¸ Short-Circuiting the Competition

Image source: Free Malaysia Today
On March 17, Chinaâs top electric automaker, BYD, turned up the heat for its competition: a brand-new charging system that juices your battery with 400km of range in just 5 minutes. Thatâs right, your EV could top up faster than you can fill up at a servo. This ultra-fast charging wonât stay theoretical for long eitherâitâs rolling out next month with new sedans and SUVs.
Teslaâs China story on the other hand is looking shaky. Deliveries in China plunged 49% YoY in February, with BYD leaving Musk in the dust across key metrics. And with Elonâs questionable PR strategy, the timing couldnât be worse.
And BYDâs success is not just about charging speed. This new charging platform also lets BYDâs upcoming models hit 100km/h in 2 seconds flat, and markets were frothing it. BYD shares surged 6% on announcement day, taking its 2025 rally past 50% and catapulting its market cap to more than $150 billionâbigger than Ford, GM, and VW combined.
Gains fell back this week though as investors were acting cautious, still, as BYD races ahead, all eyes are now on its Q4 earnings, dropping this Monday (March 24). But if this five-minute flex is anything to go by, BYD isnât just keeping pace, itâs leading the charge.
March 17
đ Soda With Benefits

Image source: Shutterstock
PepsiCo is acquiring cult-favorite Poppi for a fizzy $1.95 billion, locking in one of the buzziest beverage brands of the decade. Not bad for a drink that started at a Texas farmersâ market with apple cider vinegar and a dream.
Poppi is a big player in the âfunctional sodasâ boomâdrinks that look and taste like your childhood faves but come with added health benefits. Think prebiotics, probiotics, vitamins, or adaptogens, with less sugar and a side of âclean girl aesthetic.â And business is booming: the functional drinks market hit $134B in 2024 and is expected to reach $231B by 2033. Poppi and its main rival, Olipop, now command 2.7% of the carbonated beverage market in the U.S.
Poppiâs story began as a homemade concoction from husband-and-wife duo Allison and Stephen Ellsworth, sold at local farmersâ markets. It landed a spot on Shark Tank in 2018, where it scored funding from Rohan Oza (aka the guy behind Vitaminwaterâs rise) and rebranded from âMother Beverageâ to Poppi. That moment changed everything. With a slick new brand, better distribution, and startup savvy, Poppi evolved into one of Americaâs fastest-growing beverage names with $100M+ revenue, shelf space in Whole Foods, Target, Amazon, Costco, and even back-to-back Super Bowl adsâa flex usually reserved for Bud Light or Pepsi itself.
So why did Pepsi open its wallet? With rival Olipop raising $50M at a nearly $2B valuation, Coca-Cola launching its own prebiotic soda line, and Gen Z swearing off traditional sugary drinks, Pepsi couldnât afford to sit this one out. Poppi has what Big Soda canât replicate overnight: community, cool factor, and emotional resonance.
March 18
Wall Streetâs Spring Cleaning Comes with a Severance Package

Image source: FreeMalaysiaToday
Looks like the only thing booming on Wall Street right now is the layoffs. Morgan Stanley is cutting 2,000 staff this month, sparing only its 15,000 financial advisers. The rest of the 80,000-strong workforce? Fair game. Why? Because nobodyâs leaving voluntarily. In a shaky job market, no oneâs risking the âfunemploymentâ dream when the economyâs one bad headline away from going down the toilet.
And Morgan Stanleyâs not alone. Goldman Sachs has brought forward its annual cull, aiming to cut 3-5% of staff as part of its spring cleaning (Autumn for Aus.). Meanwhile, Bank of America just let go of 150 underperforming junior bankers, some of whom were straight out of uni. â talk about a brutal intro to investment banking.
Itâs all a sharp pivot from the banker euphoria post-Trump 2.0 election win. Back then, Wall Street was buzzing over a possible M&A revival. Now, not so much (aside from the recent Google and Pepsi deals of course). Inflation expectations are climbing again, and J-Pow is stuck between a rate-cut rock and a reflation hard place. One wrong move, and we could be back to 2020-style prices.
All of this means that the much-hyped âdeal tsunamiâ of early 2025 is still chilling offshore. Thereâs hope itâll crash in later this year, as one banker put it: âNobody knows whatâs up.â
March 18
X Gon Give It To Ya

Image source: Flickr
X is back at a $44 billion valuationâthe same price Elon Musk paid for it in 2022. After nearly two years of chaotic rebranding and advertiser boycotts.
The boost comes after X raised about $1 billion in new funding, with Musk himself investing alongside firms like 1789 Capital and Darsana Capital. A separate private share sale3 around the same time also valued X at $44 billion, suggesting that investors are warming to the platform.
Just months ago, X was circling the kitchen drain. Fidelity4 had valued the company at under $10 billion, and banks that helped fund the $44 billion buyout were stuck holding $12.5 billion in debt they couldnât offload5.
This latest funding helps X pay off over $1 billion in high-interest loansâreportedly costing the company around 13% annually. Musk also gave X investors a 25% stake in his AI startup, xAI, which has climbed to a $45 billion valuation.
Politics may also be playing a role. As Muskâs ties to Trump have grown stronger, brands appear to be reconsidering their ad boycott. Advertising giant WPP said it has seen âmore clients coming backâ to X in recent months and is now working with the company to help attract more brand spending. While Muskâs political alignment has hurt Teslaâs image among some consumers, X seems to be benefitting from its perceived influence.

Trump released files from the assassination of JFK, with over 80,000 pages released the new info revealed that the FBI and CIA knew about the threat Lee Harvey Oswald posed but failed to act, and later choosing not to reveal this to the Warren Commision - instead prioritising their covert operations over transparency. Read the docs here and Trumpâs EO here.
Cyclone Alfred in Aus. may have caused AU$ 1.2 billion in damage and decreased quarterly GDP by 0.25%, according to Treasurer Jim Chalmers.
Forever 21 filed for bankruptcy (again) this week, after restructuring in 2019, owners believe that they wish to liquidate now and wash their hands of the brand.
Harvard University now offers tuition-free education to students whose family income is below 200k USD, and all expenses paid for families who earn less than 100k USD.
Jerome Powell left the Fed fund rate target at 4.25-4.50% in the Federal Reserve meeting this week.
Germany has pledged to invest over US$ 1 trillion into domestic defense over the next 12 years, potentially boosting GDP by 0.3-2.7% a year.
Trump pulled over AU$ 400 million in funding from seven Australian universities with the ANU being the first to acknowledge their loss of funding.
Boxing icon and former heavyweight champion George Foreman has passed away at the age of 76.

Multi-cloud setups: When a company uses multiple cloud service providers instead of relying on just one. This strategy helps reduce risk, avoid vendor lock-in, and take advantage of the best features from each provider.
30x Wizâs Projected $1B revenue for 2025: Google is paying ~30 times Wizâs forecasted revenue in 2025. This means that if Wiz is makes the expected $1 billion next year, Google is valuing the company at $30 billion. By comparison, Barrons reports that most software companies tend to sell for around 10x forward revenue.
Separate Private Share Sale: Also known as a secondary sale, it is a transaction where an existing shareholder of a private company sells their shares to a third-party buyer. Unlike a primary sale, the money from a secondary sale goes to the selling shareholder. Although X didnât make any money from the secondary sale, the fact that investors were willing to value the company at $44 billion is noteworthy.
Fidelity: A large brokerage firm and asset manager whose public valuations can influence how others view a companyâs worth. Their website is here if you want a career (:
Banks Stuck Holding $12.5 Billion in Debt They Couldnât Offload: To help Musk buy Twitter, banks loaned him $12.5 billion. Normally banks try to resell these loans to other investors (hedge funds, pensions funds) soon after the deal closes, so they donât have to carry the risk. But because Xâs outlook soured, no one wanted to buy the debt, leaving the banks âstuckâ holding it on their balance sheets. Those banks have since offloaded nearly all of that debt, however.


Courtesy of Dana Summers, Tribune Content Agency
###Cartoon does not reflect the opinions of the TWC crew, we just thought it was funny ###
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