🤓Exam Shenanigans: April 27, Issue 24

📈 Markets this Week: US stocks [ $SPX ( ▼ 0.86% ) , $DJI ( ▼ 0.5% ) , $NASDAQ ( 0.0% ) ] rallied on Wednesday, riding on a wave of optimism that swept through Europe and Asia after President Trump hinted at easing the 145% tariffs on China, and insisting he had “no intention of firing” Fed Chair Jerome Powell, despite previous threats, fueling investor hopes for a trade war de-escalation.

📈 Us Against The World: China warns that it will retaliate against any country that cooperates with the US in trade talks in a way that harms Beijing’s interests. A spokesperson reiterated that ‘appeasement will never bring peace, and compromise will not be respected’.

 📈 DOJ Threats Be Damned: $GOOG ( ▼ 1.85% ), the parent company of Google, smashed forecasts with $90.2 billion in revenue and $2.81 EPS, achieving a 12% sales growth and a 49% profit surge. To top it off, Alphabet launched a $70 million stock buyback program — shrinking the amount of shares, and signalling confidence in its own shares. All this, even as the DOJ continues to circle with antitrust threats over Google’s dominance and tries to have them sell-off Google Chrome.

 📈 High Rates, High Anxiety: As previously reported, US home sales continue to slump, posting the worst March since 2009. Economic anxiety and high mortgage rates dragged existing-home sales down 5.9% YoY. The slump isn’t due to a lack of supply either (home inventory actually jumped 20% compared to March last year). Worse, these numbers do not even factor in the recent tariff debacle we witnessed in April.

 📈 IMF Sounds Alarm: The IMF (International Monetary Fund) in its World Economic Outlook report projects that US tariffs will drive global public debt above pandemic-era levels. They predict public debts will surpass 100% of global GDP by the end of the decade, as weakened global trade takes a toll on government budgets. The IMF also cut the US 2025 growth estimate to 1.8% from 2.7%, and raised the odds of a recession from 25% to 40%, citing tariffs.

 💼 Harvard v. Trump: a precedent I never thought I’d see on the syllabus: Harvard University has filed a federal lawsuit against the Trump administration to block billions of dollars in proposed funding cuts. The administration defends the cuts as an effort to curb diversity initiatives and antisemitism at Harvard, while Harvard argues that the lawsuit is a defense of academic freedom and warns that the administration’s actions threaten all American universities.

💼 Federal Workers Rejoice!: Elon Musk's time allocation to DOGE “will drop significantly” after Tesla reported a 9% revenue drop and a 71% decline in net income YoY in an earnings call.

 💼 He Said, She Said: US President Donald Trump stated in a Times interview that Chinese leader President Xi had personally called him to discuss trade talks. This claim was swiftly denied by the China’s Foreign Ministry that reiterated that no consultations were to be had until Trump cancels tariffs.

 💼 $50 Billion Goodie Bag: $RHHBY ( ▲ 2.28% ), a Swiss pharmaceutical company, plans to invest $50 billion in the United States over the next five years. The expansion includes new research and development facilities focused on disease prevention, as well as a manufacturing plant for weight loss medications. Analysts suggest the move is aimed at building goodwill with the Trump administration amid rising concerns about potential new US tariffs on pharmaceutical imports.

🤪 USPS Lost Grandma: The United States Postal Service (USPS) normally takes care of cremated remains but in one instance, almost 6kg of someone’s grandma went missing for 7 days before arriving at its intended location.

🤪 Gladiators Battled Lions in the Arena: A Roman-era skeleton found in York, England, is the first piece of physical proof that gladiators in Britain clashed with large felines (most likely a lion).

🤪Dinner with Trump or $50 million: According to the $TRUMP Coin official page, the top 220 holders of Trump Coin will be invited to a gala with President Trump, while the top 5 holders of coin will have an exclusive dinner with the President. This news sparked a price surge of as much as 73% of the meme coin.

🤪Woody Woodpecker Up To No Good: A rogue Pileated Woodpecker has been wreaking havoc in a Massachusetts neighbourhood, smashing mirrors and chipping windows on over 20 cars. The feathered vandal, described as tall, with black, white, and red markings, has reportedly been on a two-month rampage.  

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