🍓Bare Necessities: August 31, Issue 40

Hey Legends! 🐮📈

As an honorary service to our predominantly male audience (that definitely cares), we’re obligated to report that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are officially engaged after two years of dating.

Anyways, more importantly, we secured TWO boxes from the Labubu Pin For Love Collection that dropped Friday. Hit us up for good rates xoxo.

This week’s…

Finance Recaps

Image Source: r/wallstreetbets

📈 Nvidia Slips, Cambricon Flips: Nvidia N’beat Wall Street’s N’expectations with profits up 59%, but shares dipped. Why? It’s data center business narrowly missed estimates. Meanwhile, Chinese rival, Cambricon surged 4300% in revenue, filling the gap in the market.

📈Keep the Kids - Love, Goldman: In a recent report Goldman Sachs stated that removing autistic children from the NDIS could lead to a decrease in Australian GDP growth of between 0.2-0.3 in 2026 or 2027.

📈ETFs Have Been Busy: The total number of ETFs in the US market is larger than the number of stocks (4300 vs 4200) and investors have an abundance of choice. They also have the possibility of an increasingly correlated market, diluting returns.

📈Outtage Hangover: CrowdStrike posted solid Q2 numbers (revenue up 21%, topping estimates), yet shares fell as the company projected weaker Q3 revenue tied to the botched software update that grounded airlines and froze hospitals in 2024. Outtage-related costs are expected to be $51 million.

This week’s…

Politics Recaps

Image Source: Crypto.com

🌎Cronos Shoots for the Stars: With the announcement of Trump Media’s plans to acquire $6.4 billion of Crypto.com’s cryptocurrency, Cronos ($CRO) gained almost 85% in 24 hours to a peak of $0.37. Prices fell by 27% in the following day but it’s definitely one to watch.

🌎Iran = Deported: From intelligence gathered by Australia’s domestic intelligence agency (ASIO) Iran was linked to two terrorist attacks in Sydney and Melbourne. Swift and decisive action was taken with the ambassador expelled and diplomatic ties cut.

🌎De Minimis Cooks the Postal Service: Following the removal of the De Minimis tariff exemption (on parcels <$800) on Aug. 29, Australia, Germany and 23 other countries have suspended their postal delivery service to the US.

🌎India ❤️ Russian Oil: Despite pressure from the US to reduce their oil trade with Russia, India is set to increase their imports of Russian oil by 10-20% in September. Because of this Trump imposed a new tariff, hitting India with a combined 50% on most exports.

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This week’s…

Business Recaps

Image Source: American Eagle

👔 It’s Not Fair! Elon Musk’s xAI is suing Apple and OpenAI for their partnership where Apple Intelligence provides prompt data to OpenAI for training. Musk alleges this is monopolistic but OpenAI says the suit “is consistent with Mr. Musk’s ongoing pattern of harassment”.

👔 Step Aside Nvidia: Alibaba has come to play and it’s not pulling punches. Alibaba has apparently developed a competitor to Nvidia’s crown jewel, the H20 chip. This comes as the AI chip race is speeding up in China with firms such as Cambricon and MetaX.

👔 Cracker Barrel Cracks: Due to the onslaught of disappointment from consumers, investors and even Donald Trump, Cracker Barrel is returning (in part) to its previous logo. Shares rose 8% following the news.

👔 Travis Kelce Teams up with Sydney Sweeney: Not really, but Kelce recently announced a collaboration with American Eagle, no controversy this time, just results as stocks rose 9% in one day.

This week’s…

Miscellaneous Recaps

Image Source: News.com.au

🤪Compliance Firm That Couldn’t Comply: Safetrac, an Australian compliance training firms is under investigation after “secretly” recording employees through their work laptops while they worked from home. Safetrac claimed employees consented via a four-sentence surveillance policy, but multiple stuff dispute this. 

🤪AI Gets Fired at Taco Bell: Taco Bell’s AI ordering system promised speed, but delivered 18,000 waters and a 21M-view blooper reel instead. The chain is now rethinking its drive-thru robots.

🤪Textbook Case of Bag Fumbling: Tesla rejected a proposed $60M settlement in a lawsuit over the 2019 fatal crash of an Autopilot-equipped Model S and is now ordered to pay $243M instead. The company was found partly liable for the crash but says it will appeal. 

🤪 Bear Necessities: Deputies in California were called early-morning to deal with a large brown bear behind the counter of an Ice cream shop. Nickenamed “Fuzzy”, the animal reportedly had a strong preference for strawberry ice cream and officers were able to coax the bear back into the wild.

That’s it for this week.

The Weekly Charge Team ❤️🐮

P.S.

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